So, here are some reasons why women could choose to refuse casual sex.
Gender minorities like women worry more about their safety:
The idea that women are less inclined to engage in casual hookups because they involve being in intimate proximity to someone they might not be able to trust is not new. Even though the majority of sexual assault victims are people they know and trust, there is still a tendency to be more apprehensive of strangers, perhaps because we are taught to be. And it’s difficult to relax when you’re concerned about being sexually assaulted. These safeguards shouldn’t be necessary, yet our society encourages women to be on high alert all the time.
Everyone takes a risk when they go home with someone at the end of the night, but women and other gender minorities are particularly vulnerable to sexual assault and are frequently advised to take precautions to avoid it. Much more than just whether we’ll have a nice time is at stake in this choice. Our very security is in jeopardy.
Hookup culture disregards the pleasure of women:
The experience of most women with casual hookups, especially in college, has been shaped by a set of societal norms that are especially relevant to cisgender men and women hooking up. Although they are occasionally replicated and reified in queer relationships, they don’t always contain the same gendered expectations and power dynamics. Queer partnerships can undoubtedly involve casual hookups. And in the hookup culture most of us have encountered, men in particular are expected to take the reins. Sexual relations should be started by them. They should control what happens, and they should make the most of it. The chance of being mistreated and objectified doesn’t really seem worth it when you’re unsure of whether your partner will really care about your pleasure.
Women are instructed not to engage in excessive sexual activity:
Sex-shaming is a very real phenomenon that has a significant impact on women’s lives. One study, which regrettably maintained a gender binary, discovered that teenage boys made more friends when they had sex, whereas teenage girls actually lost friends. Another study found that when women know the sex will be good and they won’t be judged, they want casual hookups just as much as men do.
They simply don’t want a relationship like that:
It doesn’t really matter why a woman doesn’t want to engage in casual sex in the end. She ought to be free to reject it without having her choice exploited to highlight gender disparities.
Others may have different reasons. Women on the asexual spectrum, for instance, may not be attracted to anyone at all or may not feel attracted to anyone with whom they do not have a close relationship. Just because they are women, it is not disrespectful to say that they are not interested in hooking up casually.
Whatever a woman’s reasons are, they should be respected as such and not made to fit into a stereotype of the reasons why women reject casual sex.
