I froze like one of those fainting goats when my sexting partner asked if we might switch to FaceTime in middle of a particularly steamy and intense session. Sure, I might have been feeling exceptionally attractive, confident, and eager for some visual stimulation at this precise moment, but I might also have been sexting while gorging on homemade bread and cheese by the fistful, covered in crumbs, and sporting sweatpants that really needed a wash. But aside from the issue I had with my sexting partner’s request’s spontaneity and immediateness, there was a deeper concern I worried about: Will it be awkward? It’s obvious that I could use some advice on virtual sex, and I have a strange suspicion that I’m not the only one.
Four virtual sex ideas to have fun safely and without awkwardness.
Express your boundaries:
If you’re new to virtual sex, keep in mind that you’re learning a new sexual ability. Even if you are used to expressing your demands in person, you are learning how to do so in a novel situation. What words make you feel attracted to someone? What would you like to capture on film? Communicating while you’re hot and heavy can be made easier by establishing these boundaries and communicating preferences beforehand
Look into fantasies:
One of the best pieces of virtual sex advice is to have each participant list three desires, share them, and then have a sexy planning session to realize those fantasies. Additionally, if you’re not ready to disclose your wants, simply acknowledging them to yourself can help you get what you want and lessen the discomfort of virtual sex. Writing about your fantasies can help you connect with your deepest wants.
Create a mood:
Setting the setting and warming up are equally crucial for video sex. Starting a video conversation and getting busy right away could feel a little weird. Share a sexual playlist before getting to work as one method to achieve that shift. To build the mood, give them a tour of your sensual space—describe how your candles smell, how soft your bedding is, etc. Performing an activity to establish the mood can also include viewing a sensual movie together or competing in a virtual cooking contest while still in your undies.
But what do I do with my hands? You might be asking. A sex toy is ideal for virtual sex because it gives you the sensations you’re experiencing alone and a prop. Have your partner show you how to use your enjoyable item, or walk them through your favorite play moves. Additionally, you’ll always have something to refer to if you need to say or do something. Make sure your cell phone is supported by something stable, such as a few books on your nightstand or an open laptop. If not, it’s more likely to fall over and provide your partner with a super-sexy view of the laundry you haven’t folded or a black screen. But even if that does occur, simply accept it and go on. Remember that even when things are going well, intimacy and sex may be awkward and amusing.